The #suicide #thread

So 17years ago we were woken by police at our door. My elder bro (1yr diff) had committed suicide. I rang his house to find police at the other end of the line

I was in disbelief. Suicide? The worst way to go. That too from a 6'1" 20 stone beast, nah 1/

it had to b murder. He wouldn't go like that.

Few hours later we drive to London in 2 cars to check out the scene, 1 car is needed to bring back his belongings

We arrive & his flatmate is a complete wreck. I had been ready to bang him out, suspecting foul play. But when 2/

I saw him I knew there was no chance in the world he did it. He was in complete shock, couldn't stop crying, shaking etc He had found the body hanging & ran & sat in the middle of the road.

So we go to the house, find a suicide note & a 1st attempt note in the bin. Note read,3/

Sorry to all that love & know me

He had hung himself through the latch of the attic/loft

We go to morgue. Reality hits home. He is in his raiders top, his pagh is off around his body. We move it to his head. I see the tears in it. It was his suicide noose. I couldn't believe 4/

he used his dastar to do it.

We drove his stuff back. I nearly drove the car off the motorway at one point my head was a mess. Only thing that stopped me was my best friend in the other seat.

I had met my bro about a week earlier. He solemnly chomped on the samosas & spring 5/

rolls for a lunch that i had bought outside QAG Home office HQ where he worked. I said work dont matter, come home, there's more to life. He jus ignored my attempts to engage in convo. Quietly eating. He knew i knew something was up but he weren't sharing 6/

He planned it for months. Waited for my other bro to get his sight back after a freak condition of blindness. Waited for his flatmate to be away & then did it

Could we stop it? No. Do we know why he did it? Yes. Took a year to workout, would never have known without Mahapurakh7/

telling/giving us hints.

U cant stop a suicide. U can only ease the pain of it

U cant avoid pain. We all gotta suffer

7 years ago today. Washing the body of Ginda the 3rd young male suicide in our fam. I couldn't look at his face. I had babysat him. I saw him as a son more 8/

than a bro.

Today i got voicenotes from a suicidal niece = be rather dead than alive. Shit continues. Is she alive? Most likely yes. She hasn't replied to her whatsapp or call i made.

Be there. Be present. Do what u can.