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11 tweets,
3 min read
Read on Twitter
Imagine how frustrating life would be if you didn't understand how jokes work.
For those who didn't see it, this is the joke that he's having so much trouble with.
My mentions are now filled with his followers, who are somehow even worse at this than he is.
Sir, are you OK? Do you smell burnt toast?
Ssh! Don’t tell Princeton!
You managed to get all of this out of a right wing tweet with a cherry picked punchline divorced from context?
When Henny Youngman said “take my wife, please,” did you report the kidnapping?
When Henny Youngman said “take my wife, please,” did you report the kidnapping?
I love you so much, Twitter.
I did not, in fact, “look myself into a mirror” because I’m not Alice in Wonderland.
My children are a handful, ma’am, but I don’t think I’d call them “feral”
Well, Phil in Accounting died and that opened up the position, but it was the VP for staffing who gave me the job.
Wait, how am I a dickless dick? Pick a lane, lady.
