, 13 tweets, 3 min read Read on Twitter
Basically, as soon as I cleared the vision line of the back wall, I went into a full sprint, and ran as fast as I could up the stairs, and into my room. No sooner than the moment I slammed my door, I went over the the drapes, and peeked out. The silver Altima was driving around.
I shit you not, these guys parked two spaces away from my rental car, and their room was DIRECTLY below mine. It's a damn cheap hotel, so I could kinda/sorta hear them talking. Not word for word, but definitely the vocal tones, plus their TV.
When I saw I was quiet as a mouse, I mean, I just sat in bed, didn't turn the TV on, didn't move, and when I had to pee, I held it. I was terrified. Then... I heard it.
I heard the guy yell. "MOTHERFUCKER! I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL HIM!" Then I hear them screaming, but it's not clear what they're saying. They yell for like 15 minutes. Then they get quiet. My phone rings. It's a blocked number.
I sent it to voicemail. It rings again. Blocked number. I send it to voicemail. Then, I hear them yelling a bit more, and then I hear the door downstairs slam. I peek out of the little gap in the drapes, and watch them take off.

As soon as I saw the car clear the corner, I left.
I grabbed my backpack, flew down the stairs, and got into my rental. I was getting the fuck out of Ashland before I got killed. I had been on the road for about an hour when the guy calls me again, this time, from his real number. Not a blocked number.
I answered, "Hey M******. What's up?" He's yelling, "WE'VE GOT A FUCKING PROBLEM! YOU NEED TO BRING ME MY MONEY, RIGHT NOW!"

I was did what I do, and talked shit -- "I take it you're not a big fan of John Grisham novels. You should really give him a chance before you get angry."
The dude flew off the handle. Like, he's just shouting, "MOTHERFUCKER I WILL KILL YOU!" over and over, so finally I'm like, "M****. Calm down. Just listen. I think we can make a deal here." So he gets a little less on edge. "What's your deal?"
I said, "Look, I know you're staying at the (Whatever) Hotel. We'll meet up there. You show me you've got your gun on the hood of your car, so I know I'm safe." He's like, "Okay. And?" I said, "Then, I'll take back The Pelican Brief, wrapped in foil."
"... and then I'll give you what you really want. A Tom Clancy novel. Everyone loves war fiction." He got quiet. He didn't say shit. "I'll fucking murder you, Shane. You robbed me. You fucking die from this." Then he hung up.
In 2017, the guy I ripped off for his brick of heroin was found guilty, with four other guys, of raping and murdering a 13 year old girl. They were all prominent MS-13 gang members. He got LWOP'd in his sentence. So it looks like he won't be killing me.
... and that's the story of the time I bought a van with a brick of heroin in it that belonged to an MS-13 gang member, sold the brick, and then sold him his van back with a wrapped up John Grisham novel, for $10,000. Somehow, I didn't die.

/thread
Since I'm going viral, and I don't have a SoundCloud to promote: We're in the middle of an opioid crisis. Heroin is an opioid. Please donate to "The Center" -- centeronaddiction.org/donate

Also, fuck the entire Sackler family for being the biggest drug dealers in the world.
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