, 4 tweets, 2 min read Read on Twitter
to get people to lower their defenses around you, you kinda have to be (respectfully!) semi-indifferent to their defensiveness. actively *trying* to lower their defenses is counter-productive, because that's exactly the kind of behavior/intent they're trying to defend against
it's a sort of non-attachment; being playful in response to changing circumstances. you just want to have a good time, you're not needy or demanding about how other people are. you're happy to let them be themselves while you be you. openness to surprise
Leonard Cohen understood this. "Surprise me."

rollingstone.com/music/music-ne…
when we hold on too tightly to pre-existing ideas about what to expect, we deprive ourselves of the delight of being surprised

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