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There are those who will tell you our society's biggest problem is the lack of civility extended by those horrified by this, toward those who would cheer this.
anger is a healthy and
appropriate response
to cruelty
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appropriate response
to cruelty
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🧘🏽♂️
Anyone my age spent decades learning the warning, the lament: "and I said nothing, until nobody was left to speak."
Now that the time has come, many seem to approach it neither as warning nor lamentation, but as a strategy.
Now that the time has come, many seem to approach it neither as warning nor lamentation, but as a strategy.
Anyone my age spent decades hearing "Never Again" and "Never Forget."
Now that the time has come, many seem ready to practice a rather deliberate forgetfulness.
Now that the time has come, many seem ready to practice a rather deliberate forgetfulness.
We have the rallies
We have the lies
We have the dehumanizing propaganda
We have the camps
The death is starting
If not now, when?
The report of the offense is not the offense
The opposition to the offense is not oppression
Intransigence against atrocity is virtue not vice
We have the lies
We have the dehumanizing propaganda
We have the camps
The death is starting
If not now, when?
The report of the offense is not the offense
The opposition to the offense is not oppression
Intransigence against atrocity is virtue not vice
Those who would pursue this, support it, promote it, cheer for it, enact it, do so because they are sure their action will ultimately be met with politeness and silence.
Are they right?
It's up to you. It's up to me.
Are they right?
It's up to you. It's up to me.
It's actually not a problem at all; rather it is a moral imperative.
Is the thing.
Is the thing.
A horrified reaction to a horror is not horrible; it is natural.
And calm civility is all too often an abuser's quietest tool.
And calm civility is all too often an abuser's quietest tool.
Politeness isn’t bad. Politeness is good. Comity is good. Civility is good.
It’s just they aren’t the most important thing—justice is.
When elevated to a status more important than justice, they, like any other good thing improperly promoted, become corrupted and toxic.
It’s just they aren’t the most important thing—justice is.
When elevated to a status more important than justice, they, like any other good thing improperly promoted, become corrupted and toxic.
Choosing politeness is often a luxury the powerful afford themselves.
When I have total control over a situation, politeness is easy. It can be my way of signaling moral authority, even as I profit off of grotesque abuse.
When I have total control over a situation, politeness is easy. It can be my way of signaling moral authority, even as I profit off of grotesque abuse.
More than that—when I am an abusive person, civility is often the way I make my abuse polite.
It’s how I bring order to injustice.
It’s how I bring order to injustice.
(We already know this, by the way. Think of the stories we tell ourselves. Our most chilling villains are frequently urbane, cultured, and polite. It’s an indicator of how chillingly powerful they are, how dangerous it is that they should be able to become likeable.)
The powerful frequently demand civility of the powerless as prerequisite to any consideration of their demands—using civility or propriety as useful distractions against the complaints brought on by their abuse, to reframe the debate as one of comity rather than one of justice.
They use civility and propriety to ideologically separate those privileged enough to still be able to select civility, away from those who struggle under a clear and present abuse and do not possess the luxury of that choice.
An excellent indication that you are successfully changing the frame to justice is this: People will start wanting to talk about politeness, who were strangely never worried about it before.
The tone you’re using in the conversation will suddenly become the most important thing, much more important than the actual topic of conversation.
Civility will suddenly begin to matter among those who in the recent past made successful use of shocking incivility.
Civility will suddenly begin to matter among those who in the recent past made successful use of shocking incivility.
Some will still think I’m saying civility is bad. I am not. Civility is good.
But our fight is one of priority between competing good things. And civility is not more important than justice.
But our fight is one of priority between competing good things. And civility is not more important than justice.
So, if you can be polite, be polite—by all means, be polite. Politeness opens the door to the possibility of persuasion, civility ingratiates in ways that might change a mind.
Might.
Might.
But never forget that politeness and civility are choices that can be made from a position of power, and can therefore be used as a weapon of the powerful against those without.
If you are able to choose civility when you are opposing injustice and abuse, I certainly recommend that you do so. But do not dare scold someone else for their incivility, as a way of closing them away from their demands for justice.
Do not dare pretend to make yourself the hero of their story, when they are of necessity being many times braver than you just by existing in an environment that is so hostile to their existence.
In a just society, civility would always be preferable. In fact, civility would be a natural result of a society based on justice. It would not need to be called for; it would simply be.
But impoliteness is not injustice.
And justice will offend the unjust.
Let it.
But impoliteness is not injustice.
And justice will offend the unjust.
Let it.
