Discover and read the best of Twitter Threads about #NdebeleTwitter

Most recents (21)

unakaNhamo ngalesi isikhathi ufisa ngabe umhlaba uyavuleka umginye. useka Nhamo is umbheke ngecele- lelo lihlo lithi ngakutshela uthi ungangiceleli umsebenzi-. unakaNhamo weNkosi kuthi afe ngoba ubetshela loba ngubani ongamlalela uthini uelder uzambonela iplan.
ubona ngathi ibandla lonke libheke yena. unakaRudo kazi ukuthi uzakhangela abantu athini. kwazolo kakhona ube sendlini ka elder eyo celela usekaRudo laye mxm. Ngeke adlulwe ngonakaNhamo into ezidubekayo ezingafundanga. UsekaRudo ule degree yena senga sebenza lapha eSaku(😜)
emaofficini amakhulu. laye phezu kwenhloni useyethukile njalo umangele ukuthi awu uelder ubethe uyalungisa. UsekaRudo uyaqala ukubuya echurch, uphethe ngcwadi zakhe zomsebenzi, unakaRudo abethe uzalungisa ithuba lokuthi azinike uElder. Awu! inhloni manje lapho sebona ngathi wonke
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#lafa elihle
@CityofBulawayo come here together with @NicolaWatson13 and @mdczimbabwe and @OurMDCT
@DubekoSibanda @privilege_mufc #NdebeleTwitter what can we do to make #bulawayo great again?
Curve at 4th Ave (grass cutting) @zenzele @citezw @BusisaMoyo @samkebusiness
Dead eucalyptus tree at centenary Park (health hazard) @mtakagogoe
Read 9 tweets
#NdebeleTwitter herewith Season 2, Episode 1 of #UmnxebaWodumo.

My Hillside Experience

It all began when I met uGalvin. Sagidla sonke eMoray but yena yilezana ezazingaboni nex. So he tells me he is now a waiter. Phela bragging about jobs is the new ntenene bragging contest Image
2. Nxa sifika ku parking he gets into a very expensive car. Ngangenwa yingubhane madoda. This guy owayekopa Kimi ama Corrections is now driving this sexy thingumabob? Zimbabwe ilesono shame. My ego was sodomised I tell you. He saw it and said, don't worry call me. I can help you Image
3. After serious thought, ngimfonele after 3 days. He tells me ukuthi akwenzi ukuthi sikhulume over the phone. I must go to his work place siyexoxela khona. I just cudnt believe it! Galvin wama ansa arongo now has power to call me to his office? Kunzima bo Jo Image
Read 17 tweets
Herewith Thread 4 of my experiences #ChroniclesofHope

Thread 4: The Bad days.

Being in hiding is a game of mental strength and for those whose backbones are clad with iron. Especially those of us who want to go home and not to Europe
#NdebeleTwitter
#ZimbabweanLivesMatter Image
2. The 1st days are bad. Anxiety. Worry and concern over the well-being of the family. At some point I went for 4 straight days without eating, worried about my children. I just can't believe I can be this helpless and watch them bullied. A friend sent this about Cde Umile Image
3. The worst is that in the day that the State goes rogue even relatives blame you for it. They castigate us for 'ukuqala iZanu'. Very few want to assist. Majority does not want any contact lest they are endangered. To get a relative to house my family was a futile effort
Read 13 tweets
As promised herewith the thread about my experiences. #ChroniclesofHope
Thread 1: The Clouds Gather

It all started with a WhatsApp Chat below on the 1st of May. This is 2 months before the July 31 Demonstrations was announced. At this point nothing suggested that am in danger
2. Everything was normal in the Zim sense way. Somehow, this message confirmed with my spirit. Something was afoot in the horizon and God warned me through someone I least expected. I needed to start preparing for that fateful day
3. I had seen how @JoeMzacaNgulube had been in activism & remained unknown in these streets. I decided to grow my Following. I had 386. I changed my content and used my other talents: Humour and Storytelling via #UmnxebaWodumo. I also embraced #NdebeleTwitter. I grew to over 2k
Read 21 tweets
Yesterday Marked 1 month since I went into hiding. I will tomorrow do 5 threads to share my experiences over the last month. I will also reveal the identity of one Ferret enabler. I have learnt to tell my story as a means to stay afloat
#NdebeleTwitter
#ZimbabweanLivesMatter Image
There are days we are hopeful that a New Zimbabwe will come and we will go back home. Then there are days, like today, where I am overwhelmed, discouraged & Hopeless. As a Depression Survivor I get episodes and emotional rollercoasters Image
I find myself missing my son who calls me Commander 🀣 and wonder if I will see him again. I miss dancing with him and watching his jolly self play. I catch myself gazing in Oblivion planning my own funeral and wondering if this is the Zimbabwe that our fathers died for Image
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1. #NdebeleTwitter Herewith Episode 8 of #UmnxebaWodumo enjoy πŸ˜‚

Escape Sexcapade

Once it was established that your Favourite Malume is a Dark Force I knew I had to skip the country. So I left and headed for a village close to the border. The chief welcomed me kuhle sibili Image
2. The Chief advised that I stay okwamalanga till the Mkomana who knows amasotsha comes back. Phela Abadizeki nxa kungelamuntu obaziyo. So I had to wait and enjoy iHospitality yenduna and his 6 wives and his pretty Mabhobhodlwana. Bahle abantwana beNduna madoda Image
3. Since I was a fugitive ngangingasebenzi. I spent the day ngingumatshaya inyoka. Ngibuka amabhekane abantwana beNduna. Umalume wenu phela vele uyalingeka. Ngugwayi liyaluma. Yikho engumalume. Lakanye ngirobhe okukodwa. Umthobanhliziyo uyadingeka when one is stressed Image
Read 18 tweets
#ICYMI: APA Statement on Government of #Zimbabwe response to pastoral letter
Highlights Thread πŸ“°
APA is taken aback, but not surprised, at the reaction of the Government of Zimbabwe to the pastoral letter issued by the Zimbabwe Catholic Bishops’ Conference on the current situation in Zimbabwe.
3/For the sake of clarity, and with reference to this particular context, APA would like to point out the following undeniable facts regarding the history of the Catholic Church in the Rhodesia era and independent Zimbabwe.
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izibongo lengcazelo zeNdlovukazi uNyamazana (not her real pic) @Yvonne_Maphosa #NdebeleTwitter Image
TSHIDA LIKAZWANGENDABA: UQueen Nyamazana liTshida ngoba amabutho kaZwangendaba ayekhokhelwa nguZwide athi eqhubeka ngohambo yena wasala emuva entabeni zeMataojeni lapho asusela amanqe uMambo inkosi yamaKalanga Image
SOMAFUNGASE ONGAPHIKISWAYO: uNyamazana ngu Somafungase ngoba wafunga wemba phansi wala ukuqhubeka phambili ngohambo. uZwide loZwangendaba baqhubeka bamtshiya. Image
Read 10 tweets
Herewith #NdebeleTwitter #UmnxebaWodumo
Episode 7

My Plumtree Experience

Umalume as some of you might not know, usebenza izinto ezinengi. He is a defender of the #Zimbabwe Constitution against the #2ndAmendment. So I was deployed ePram ukuyafundisa abadala.
2. Phela to make money ethe xaxa in these missions kumele uhlakaniphe. Instead of ukuyalala eOmadu, I decided ukucela indawo yokulala emzini Wabantu. Challenge, angazimuntu. Needed a solid plan. Ngenzenjani? I decided to wayawaya, oluzulayo ngoludobhayo bo Jo
3. I decided ukuya eskotshweni. OMrs Njiva bonke bathe fatsha bhoyi. ICovid ivalele amadoda ngale, sebengomazakhela. Lenkulumo zakhona uyazizwa ukuthi hayi mani, uyashota umthobanhliziyo. I stood there deciding ukuthi ngingene siphi
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#NdebeleTwitter herewith #UmnxebaWodumo Episode 6

My Gwanda Experience

So I get a call that my cousin Spiro has died. Ngisegoli. Quickly I go to PowerHouse & gada okungamabhasi kwenu okutshiphileyo. Kuthwele ama Border Jumper lama dealer wodwa. Plus ku overloaded Image
2. Every Roadblock kuyamiswa. Sikhupha ama R20. Kuyafa. Impahla sihamba siyethula. Ogogo beMasvingo abadla wayawaya bahamba becela irecess every 20Km. 2 days sisendleleni. Kwafela eGwanda okuyibhasi. I get a call to sleepover in Gwanda bazangithatha ekuseni sesisiyangcwaba
3. Mina swi. Yehliyani straight to Gwanda hotel. Kuthwe fully booked. Next option ko Growly (Wakanda name be this) Again fully booked. Ngibhode wonke fully booked. I go and kwejisa eRiver Dance (another weird name for a club). Ziyawa kodwa shame Image
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#NdebeleTwitter namuhla ngidinwee. Kodwa 50likes can encourage me to do episode 6 of #UmnxebaWodumo Image
Lets meet here at 10πŸ˜‘
Check my TL. Usukhona #UmxebaWodumo
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#NdebeleTwitter #Umxebawodumo
Episode 1 :Twitter DM

So bengixoxa lesiye esingumsexy khonapha ku Twitter , Si dhiphu sona, O yellow ngokwalo... Image
Ngendlela Antswempu ngakhona lo Thekeni, yi type zabo Pearl Thusi... Hanty sengilitshelile, i Yellow, i qualala. Lawe ma ubheke isthombe uyabona ukuthi la ngibambile... Image
After 3 months, of chatting day and Night... lama calls. Phela ngasengithenga le Airtym... Looks like sengidlulisile i 90 days rule... With the amaNdebele style (Flying Colors) Image
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Episode 5 #UmxebaWodumo
Your Big Saturday Read #NdebeleTwitter

I2000 Lami uRobyn

Liyakhumbula uRobyn wokubamba iGearBox kaMthwithi ngale emaKharadini ku Episode 4? Afone phakathi kweviki athi uyaxolisa ngesiga sokimpampiswa ngu Toby. Ethi she wants to meet and make it up to me Image
2. You can imagine the excitement yokuthiwa they will make it up to me. My mind ran wild. Ngazitholela iKharadi bo Jo. She said mina I must just geza and look nice and be prepared to sleep out. Jo! Asikufara lokhu. Iviki yayinanayila kodwa yaze yafika iWoza Frayoyo yodumo Image
3. Lespano angiyanga. Ngagugla ngisagugla How 2 impress i2000 labo Kamasutranyana. Went shopping for Deo, Boxer, socks. Ngadlula eMakhokhoba ngidinga imbiza leCongo Dust. Didn't want ukukhulelwa ngukijana. Finally ngaSheva. Ngageza. Had to look young. Ngaqonda espothini. Ngizizwa Image
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#UmnxebaWodumo suhluphile bo bhoyi. Kodwa some say it's too long. Akelitsho ke #NdebeleTwitter, How long must an average thread be? I will put 2 samples on replies
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Herewith Episode 4 of #NdebeleTwitter Big Saturday Read, #UmnxebaWodumo

Ukulobola iKharadi

As you are aware, UMthwithi is a Dombo 4 Hire. Ngake ngayalobola ikharadi eBarham Green. Bo Jo! Samiswa egedini for almost 2hrs. Gedi lakhona alila intercom futhi. Ilanga litshisa bhe Image
2.. After sesiphose sawela inkanda, thutshu isalukazi seKharadi. A bubbly granny I must say. Will call her Madea. She looked tipsy though and umthabo wakhe bordered around ukuba lizankanyana, just a bit. Kulomsebenzi lapha ku Madea. Clearly. She welcomed us warmly though Image
3. Lami ngangigqoke iLobola outfit, that one ethi AngikaSenti but Ungangijwayeli amasimba. Madea led us into the house saya naba phezu kweTile eliqanda moo, No cansi. For luck I don't wear iskhindi for such missions. Igear box yahle yathi kwata phezu kweTile. Ngaphosa ngafroza. Image
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#NdebeleTwitter herewith #UmnxebaWodumo Episode 3.
From Lokitshini to Mayadini

The change to emayadini imnandi bo Jo kodwa the differences are vast. Ama bustop akula bo bhampeni labo lapho ecina khona. I address yenkomponi can pass for a phone number emayadini
#ZanupfMustGo
The worst for me was the changes eskolo. 1st day of school ngahle ngathola a nick name. My teacher did not know where Amaswazi Primary School is. She said kusemaguswini. Okungamasalala kwahle kwavele kwathi nginguMaguswini guy. Imagine!
Ngale koLokitshi umbalisi ngu Titsha for a male and Misi for ongumama. Ngapha it's Teacher for either. You can imagine sengihlekwa sengithe Titsha with that mkhemeswane accent. Ukugoqa ulimi to pronounce words was a nightmare. Abanye besithi khethel mina ngangisithi khekli bo Jo
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#Olwesithwitha is here... it's uMthwithi's platform to discus impilo lenhlalo yethu as #NdebeleTwitter every Wednesday.

Namuhla sikhangela umsebenzi we Zangelo/Izitemo. Ngiyazi inengi selingamakholwa lithi izangelo zimbi. Akusiqiniso. Ngizakuveza lokhu

#ZanupfMustGo Image
Izangelo ziveza kabanzi usendo lomuntu lokuthi abantu bazalana njani. Yindlela yabokhokho bathi ukuthukuza usendo/Family Tree.
AbakoKhumalo be Zimbabwe kwezabo izangelo babiza ULobhengula kaMzilikazi kaMatshobana lo Gasa kaZikode kaMkhatshwa kaZimangele Image
AbakoNdlovu labo nxa bezitema babiza uMdingi ka Ngema kaMpongo kaZingelwayo kaLamula kaGatsheni. Lokhu kuyindlela yokuveza ukuthi lababantu bazalana njani ngokulandelana kwabo. Akula dimoni. AmaKristu angalivali amehlo bo Jo. Lebhayibhilini kubhaliwe ukuthi uzibani wazala ubani Image
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Amavuko #NdebeleTwitter. Pastor Mthwithi shares prayer points to Pray for Zim. The bible says we must pray for our leaders so that we live in peace. 1 Timothy 2 v 1-4. Good thing we are not told what to say in the prayer. We can solve our problems in prayer

#ZanupfMustGo Image
Prayer Point 1: ZANU MUST GO

In Daniel a hand appeared and wrote a judgement in the palace. Today let's pray that THE HAND OF GOD may appear at State House and write #ZanupfMustGo Image
Prayer point 2. Nebchadnezzar Must get Mad

Pray for the hand of God to strike our Nebchadnezzar with Madness. Let him go naked and eat grass like a donkey. Our people are starving. Let him be an animal too

#ZanupfMustGo Image
Read 8 tweets
#OLwesithitha
on this weekly Wednesday Thread, I share izinto ezehlukeneyo mayelana lempilo yethu #NdebeleTwitter Episode 1 looks at ILOBOLO esintwini. ONobhinzi laboNdumbayenkosi akubaphathanga kuhle ukulotsholwa ngegrosa. Yikho ngizachasisa. Use #OLwesithitha to RT & comment Image
2. Akumelanga sithandabuze ukukhalipha kwabadala. Konke ababekwenza kulomutsho. Isiko lokulobola akumelanga sileyise kodwa kumele silijulise sizigqaje ngalo. Isintu sakithi appreciates the life cycle of humans. Akula Black Tax bo Jo! Ilobolo lihle
#OLwesithitha Image
3. Nxa uzakuya lobola kumele uhlele izinto zakho kuhle. Ungenzi ixubevange ngani yiZanu. Phela oginya iganu uyazazi ukuthi ngumanotsha ngale kumDVD. Kumele umuntu adinge idombo elazi isiko, futhi eliligabazi. Phela umlomo litshoba lokuziphingela Image
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1/16 #NdebeleTwitter Nansi iThread yenu: Ressurection Attempt

Phela uMthwithi is a Jack of many trades. Ngapha ngu M.C Wabantu, ngale li Dombo For Hire, ngale ngu Director we Foundation kanasinga but this thread is about isayi lesifundisi. I know lijayele labana ababhowayo Image
2/16 So, one day, phakathi kobusuku, I receive a call. Ngangisayelusa inkomo zikababa, ngangcothuna ngaphendula ifoni. Phela isfundisi is a 24hr job. Ngizwe 'Mfundisi, unasikeni kasekho. Uthe engafa libuye lizomvusa'. Pheliyani ubuthongo. Laliyani itasika! Image
3/16 Ngajabula ngafa. Phela if a mzalwane calls you for a task it means uyakholwa ukuthi umfundisi wakhe uyasotha. I was happy to pray for isidumbu. Vele ibhayibhili liyakuvuma. Inkosi ayikuphi okungaphezu kwamandla akho. Ngazibona sengisithi 'Lazaro vuka' Image
Read 17 tweets

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