To those of you who say people with autism don't feel emotions I say this:
The past few days have been very difficult for me. My mam has been very upset and although I know why, I have no idea how to correct it. This has a consequence of making me more upset. I know that it's

not my responsibility to make her happy, but when the only person I have ever known that would do anything for me is upset, it bothers me greatly. Added to this that I am unable to express or even understand my feelings makes me even more frustrated. I get angry at myself for not

being able to help my mam. I spent a long time with my mam and emotion cards as a boy, so when my mam is sat on her sofa crying because of something someone has said, I know that she has been deeply hurt. Yet the only way I know how to help her is by making her a cup of tea,

talking about history, physics, or mathematics. My inability to hug her when she needs it, upsets me. Let me make that clear, I want to hug her because I know that will make her feel better, but the sensory experience would cause more problems. I have no idea about

which words would make her feel better. For all my so called intelligence and my large vocabulary, I don't even know how to construct a single sentence to make her feel even slightly better. My mam used to say that knowing something and hearing something are two different things.

My mam knows how I feel better than I do, even though I have never been able to vocalise it. So whilst people with autism, me certainly, may not be able to understand or vocalise these feelings, we still have them. I hope to be back soon.
#aspie #aspergers #ADHD #mentalhealth